It Takes a Village. But What If Yours Is Far Away?

“It takes a village.”

We’ve all heard that phrase countless times. But for some of us, the village is far away.

Becoming a new mom is already hard on its own. You’re adjusting to new responsibilities, hormonal changes, and finding balance in everyday life. Many of us dream of having our parents or in-laws close by to guide us through the first year with our little one. But for some, that’s not possible. The village that once surrounded us with wisdom, comfort, and care now exists only across time zones and video calls.

When you’re far from home, motherhood can feel incredibly lonely. You might find yourself navigating a new identity as a mom, reshaping your relationship with your partner through sleepless nights, and worrying about whether you’re doing things “right.” You might be struggling with breastfeeding, exhaustion, or the silent ache of missing your family.

When living abroad, many parents lose this network overnight, often underestimating how much that loss will impact them emotionally. Many South Asian women also carry the belief that “a good mother sacrifices.” As a result, they may push through exhaustion instead of asking for help, fearing judgment or comparison to moms back home.

Emotional signs of this disconnection can include guilt, resentment, loneliness, and identity loss. It’s okay to grieve not having your “village.” Grieving what you hoped this stage of life would look like doesn’t make you ungrateful; it makes you human.

This is a time to redefine what support looks like for you. While you may be on your own physically, you don’t have to be emotionally. It’s okay to reach out to friends and ask for help, consider hiring a night nurse if possible, or find other moms who can share in this experience with you. Building your own “modern village” can help you feel more grounded and less alone.

Ask yourself:

What kind of support do I truly need right now?

Who in my life makes me feel safe and seen?

What old beliefs about motherhood am I ready to let go of?

At The Therapy Couch, we understand how deeply layered this experience can be, especially for South Asian mothers navigating life abroad. Our team of culturally sensitive South Asian therapists provides a safe space to process these emotions, find balance, and reconnect with your sense of self. You don’t have to go through this alone ,support is closer than you think.