The Pressure to Get Married — and Why It’s Not That Simple
The pressure to get married can feel overwhelming. For many of us, the expectation to “settle down” by a certain age is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it begins to feel like we’re running out of time. Like we’re somehow falling behind. Like we’re spoiled food with an expiry date stamped right across our forehead.
We’re told, either directly or in a not-so-subtle ways, that we should be married by 25. That if we’re not, something is wrong with us. That we’re too picky, too distracted, or just not trying hard enough. But that’s simply not the reality for so many of us.
At the same time, we’ve also been encouraged — sometimes pressured — to focus on school, build a career, and become financially stable. Those things take time, energy, and commitment. But somehow, the expectation to also find a life partner and get married young sits right on top of everything else. And that expectation? It can feel unfair, heavy, and honestly, exhausting.
Our Worth Shouldn't Be Tied to When We Get Married
As we grow older, the pressure doesn’t go away. In fact, it often gets louder. Our worth — especially as women — starts to feel like it’s measured by whether or not we’re married yet.
And when we’re not? It can start to feel like we’re failing. That we’re behind. That something is wrong with us.
In the background of all this is the reality of rejection. Of people coming into our lives and not staying. Of relationships that don’t work out. Of heartbreak. And yet, even through all of that, the questions keep coming:
“Shaadi ka kya socha hai?”
“So what’s the plan for marriage?”
These questions, often asked with a smile or a tone of curiosity, carry weight. For many of us, they bring up anxiety, sadness, and self-doubt. We might start to internalize the belief that we’re not enough — or worse, that we’ll never be enough until we’re married.
The Risk of Choosing Just to Silence the Noise
When the pressure becomes too loud, too persistent, and too heavy, it can start to push us into decisions we’re not ready for. Some of us rush into relationships that don’t align with our values. Some of us stay in relationships that don’t feel right, just to avoid the shame or judgment of still being single.
We may end up choosing someone — not because they feel like the right partner, but because we just want the questions and the comments to stop. We just want to be left alone. We just want peace.
But choosing peace by settling doesn’t always give us peace. And you deserve better than that.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy offers a space where you don’t have to pretend that the pressure isn’t getting to you. You don’t have to minimize your hurt or shame. You don’t have to explain why you haven’t met the “deadline.”
In therapy, you can:
Explore where your values differ from your parents or community
Understand the root of your anxiety around marriage, time, and expectations
Learn how to cope with feelings of rejection, comparison, or shame
Practice communicating boundaries and needs with your family
Build a support system rooted in who you are and what you want
This journey — the one where you figure out what a meaningful relationship looks like for you — doesn’t have to be rushed. You are not on a timeline. You are not “behind.” And you are not less worthy because your path looks different.
If any part of this speaks to you, please know you’re not alone. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and supported — no matter where you are on your journey.
